Over the past year/year-and-a-half I have had a lot of guilt over being here. Thanks to this job, I have missed my sister’s graduations from college and grad school, a good friend’s wedding, a cousin’s wedding, and 2 good friends’ babies being born. Plus my dad has been ill the whole time. If I think about these things for even a little while I am just eaten up with guilt over not being there. I know that mere presence doesn’t change the outcome of situations but if I’d had the money I would have been flying back and forth all the time. I don’t regret coming to France but I do need to forgive myself for it, because I think we did what we were supposed to at the time. I just feel horrible for not being there, you know?

Advertisements