1. Charmin bears dancing around, wiping themselves with various toilet papers
  2. Anything that is used in underwear, in place of underwear, or on anatomical parts typically covered by underwear.  There is nothing more awkward than watching an “absorbency demonstration” using a little cup of blue water with your family.
  3. Greasy food.  We all like to eat it sometimes, but a close-up of liquid fat oozing from a hamburger is vomit-inducing.  And makes me want to never eat greasy food again, thus defeating the purpose of a commercial.
  4. PedEgg.  WHY do you think innocent viewers want to see “foot filings,” AKA dead skin shaved off of nasty feet?!
  5. Pet food.  Plenty of close-ups to convince you of the food’s succulence.  Um…are you implying that pet food is tempting to humans?  Because I think it looks slimy.  And also like something one might come across in the diaper of a sick baby.  These commercials are one of the top reasons I do not have a dog/cat.
  6. Animated versions of anything that is disgusting in real life: mucus, cockroaches, etc.
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